Testing has started

Well, I went to the doctor yesterday for my first ultrasound and blood work.  It surprisingly wasn't as bad as I had predicted.  Once the ultrasound machine was turned on and I could see the picture I forgot what was going on down below.  I have been looking at ultrasounds for my horse for over a year and a half it was nice to see something different for a change!

It was very interesting to see all the reproductive organs on the screen.  Initially it seems that everything is as it should be.  I have a uterus and two ovaries that seem to be normal sized.  I start taking a drug, Clomiphene, tomorrow for five days.  This drug is suppose to encourage ovulation.  I go back in on the 13th for another ultrasound and more blood work.  We will then get the result of Adam's sperm count and mobility test.  Also, I learned last week that my family has a big history of thyroid disease so I made sure my doctor knew and added that test to my blood panel. 

It's all starting to feel real to me.  This is a really scarey time in my life.  I'm scared that they're going to find something wrong, I'm scared that they are not going to find something wrong, I'm scared that it's going to work and life as I know it is going to be forever changed....  I want this so bad.  Adam wants this so bad.  Sometimes I feel like we want it so bad that we are jinxing ourselves.  I'm trying to stay positive and not stress myself out because I know that won't make things any better.  I know this is for the best for my family so I'm doing my best to eliminate negative thoughts.  I hope I can keep it up.